In August this year I will have been married to my Other Half for 5 years. In September we’re attending a marriage course. The two events are not directly related!
I didn’t live with my Other Half before we got married. This may be the reason why we’ve had a number of ‘interesting’ arguments and conversations over the past few years as we’ve discovered habits in each other that we didn’t know about before and don’t necessarily appreciate!
The most notable one in the history of our marriage (thus far) is “Wet Jeans-Gate”. When we got married my Other Half was in his final year at Uni and I was working in a nearby city. On one particular day, only two or three weeks after I’d upped sticks and moved away from everyone I knew in order to wed the man of my dreams *ahem* I arrived home having walked 20 mins from the train station, completely soaked to the bone and freezing cold to find a trail of wet clothes all through our little flat. Apparently my Other Half had just stripped off what he was wearing as he walked through. The pinnacle of it all was coming into our bedroom and tripping over his wet jeans which were just in the middle of the floor. Suffice to say the air was pretty tense by the time I’d finished expressing myself to my Other Half!!
It reminded me of a scene in Friends when Monica is talking to Rachel about moving in with Chandler and she starts crying and says “I have to live with a boy” That’s how I felt for a number of weeks after we first got married. We did a pre-marriage course which was all about expectations of roles i.e. who will take the bins out and the type of communicator we are etc etc but nothing prepared me for living with a boy. And a student boy at that!
I would have liked to say things have moved on quite succesfully since then until last week when The Outrage happened. The Outrage was about the number of glasses I have on my bedside table. Last week, it numbered six.
My Other Half is not the kind of person to get wound up over trivial things but apparently, six glasses is just too many for one person to have on their bedside table!
In complete fairness, as my Other Half is responsible for dish washing he has asked me on a number of occasions to remember to bring my glass down with me so it can get washed up with everything else but mostly I just forget in the morning rush!
NB: On asking my Other Half to check this blog post over he pointed out that he didn’t get ‘Outraged’ by the number of glasses but then went on to stress that I didn’t just forget in the morning rush, I forgot in six consecutive mornings. Erm…point made anyone!?!
Isn’t it funny though how the little things can suddenly become the BIG things.
I guess it brought home how easy it can be to stop communicating. And by that I mean both talking and listening. I, for one, am an incredibly good communicator if all that is required is a rant and rave about whatever is bugging me but I have to remember that my Other Half is more of the silent communicating type and I have to make time to watch and listen so I know how he’s feeling about things. Apart from, as I now know, if there are numerous glasses on my bedside table ;o)
But in the whirlwind that is small children (all children!?!), just finding 5 minutes to sit down and talk can be really quite challenging.
I’m really looking forward to the marriage course in September as it will give us that time and space to have a conversation that hopefully doesn’t revolve around our kids or what jobs need to get done in the house! Not to mention there will be desserts served which is always a winner in my opinion!
To clarify – the marriage course is not marriage counselling! It’s a course being held at the Church we attend aimed at couples who have been married for a number of years. Some friends attended it last year and have highly recommended it to us!