Have you ever experienced one of those times where you and your partner have vastly differing opinions on something and neither of you are willing to budge?
That’s where I’m at right now. And it’s related to a certain subject, one we’ve both been aware of but have never really sat down and talked about before as I think really we knew that our opinions were as opposite as opposite can be.
The conversation about *whispers* more babies…
Recently I decided that as we were nearing Eli’s 2nd birthday I’d bring the subject up. I will be honest and say I had never directly brought it up before as I was fairly certain that my Other Half would say he was done and dusted and I
was not am not.
I’d quite happily have an entire brood. A rugby team of mini me’s running around creating havoc (I’d also have more dogs, definitely some chickens and a couple of small animals as well but that’s probably beside the point.) My Other Half, no chance. He is perfectly happy with two children and doesn’t want any more thank you very much.
And so since the royal mention, in which I tried to sweeten the deal by serenading him with Natasha Bedingfield’s “I want to have your babies”, we have had weeks of badly veiled comments; how we have the perfect family (my Other Half), how it would be nice to hold a newborn again (me), how when we go away we all fit so comfortably into our car (my Other Half) and how we needn’t throw any of the baby things away because really, you never know (me) etc etc etc – the list is pretty endless to be honest!
As I type this neither of us have given ground. We’ve talked about it, we’ve listened reasonably well to each other’s opinions but we’ve both walked away convinced that we are in the right.
How do we solve this?
It’s a tricky subject because it’s such an emotional one and there’s not much of a compromise to be had!
I look at my two beautiful children and don’t understand how anybody could not want to have another. I don’t see the added expenses, the needing a bigger car, the sleepless nights. I just see my gorgeous babies and my biological clock chimes, shouts and waves its arms around wildly. I love the potential they have, these new small human beings and I want to do that all over again.
My Other Half, being the more rational perhaps, sees the squeeze on finances, the teary hormonal months following the birth, the sleepless zombie nights arguing over who last got up and thinks “why would anyone want to go back to that?” He looks at our two beautiful children and gives himself a pat on the back thinking how well we’ve done to produce two semi-refined human beings (I mean, some days they actually leave the food on the floor and let us sweep it up, that’s pretty good going!)
Meg will be starting school in September, I have settled into my job, we’ve got a good routine going. To have another baby would throw that all up in the air. Which is kind of the way I like it. I know we are so lucky to have Meg and Eli and I never thought I’d reach the stage where I would be broody and begging for another child but as time ticks along and Meg and Eli evolve from being toddlers to actual real little people, I can’t help but start to wonder what it would be like to add a third into the mix.
Some people will probably think this is way waaay too personal a subject to share but actually, I don’t feel precious about it. Whatever we decide in the end, right now we’re in no mans land and I’m interested to know how other people have faced these conversations.