Ahh half term. The stuff of dreams.
Is it just me, or does anyone else look forward to the joys of half term only to be met with the following:-
1.Your Kids Get Up At 5am
For the past two weeks you have been late every single morning for school, having to drag the kids out of bed, wrestle them into their uniforms, shovel breakfast into their mouths and then bundle them into the car. A few times you’ve had to sneak in the front of school after being caught out by the blasted frost on your windscreen that will not be moved. So naturally on the first day of half term they are up and bouncing on your bed at 5am. Because they know they can break you.
2. It’s Raining
In the run up to half term you surveyed the mild(er) weather with pleasure and made promises that you would take full advantage of all the free fun that the outdoors can provide for you and your children. You may get cocky and swear that even if it rains you’ll still get out. That was before point number one when Monday morning finds you drinking your third coffee of the day at 8am and staring out of the window at an uninspiring grey wet morning. Let’s be honest, there’s just no way you are doing that.
3. You’re Sick
This happens to me every single half term. I don’t know whether it’s the sudden enforced close quarters which bring me face to face with the many and varied germs my children carry but regardless. That break you have been so looking forward to, all that quality time you can spend with your children is now ruined as you make your way through your weight in tissues and force yourself to swallow down disgusting lemon and honey concoctions. You even consider taking your kids to the inner circle of hell that is soft play because you are so desperate to stop them bouncing off the walls but then you remember that means coming into contact with even more snotty germ infested small people. Not.Going.To.Happen.
4. You Have No Food
On your third visit to the supermarket in a week, you begin to wonder whether there isn’t an army of borrowers in your house. Where has all the food gone? Milk, bread, fruit, snacks, all seem to be vanishing at a rate of knots. Not to mention all the cakes you’ve been made to eat just to make it through the day. Don’t judge.
5. You Have No Money
It is 9pm on Sunday evening and you have finally put your feet up and started dreaming of the week to come. Then your husband tentatively approaches you and says, ‘Darling, we’ve just about recovered from our over-spend at Christmas and so it would be really great if you didn’t spend any money this half term.’ Wonderful. Brilliant. Superb. So you can be stuck at home (see points above) all day with two children bouncing off the walls, driving you mad, eating all your food and hiding tiny bits of play dough all over the house whilst you gradually retreat further and further into the corner. Then you smile a small, secretive little smile as you remember that by the time He walks through the door at 6pm they will jump on him like two feral monkeys, swinging from his arms and wrapping themselves around his legs demanding attention. Then you can sit back and point out that he put you on a strict budget. Win.
By the time the following Monday rolls around, you stagger into the school playground, bowl your children through the doors of their classroom and hurry back home to climb into bed. Unless you are unfortunate enough to have to go back to work as well in which case have some cake. Lots and lots of lovely cake.
The above may or may not be drawn from real life. I love my kids really. Even if they do make me ill with their germs.
What are your half term fun experiences?!