I know even as I write this that there are some families who have already finished for the summer…that the chaos of trying to get uniforms on and breakfasts eaten and homework found each morning already seems like a distant
Not for us, my friends. We still have a whole week of school left before we break up or at least before it breaks me…
I have begun to notice a few patterns emerging around end of term time. Does anybody else notice these things or is it just me?
1. Your military-tight morning routine has gone to pot
This morning I actually said the words ‘would you rather wear a dry dress or would you rather eat?’ as I wrestled Meg into her damp school dress and hustled her out of the door so we could go to the local shop and buy milk, and bread and all the other essentials that we seem to have somehow forgotten to buy the last couple of weeks.
Throughout the rest of the year I operate a watertight morning schedule which allows me to get up as late as possible and squeeze every possible second out of the time left before are late for school. There’s no room for visits to the shop, hunting shoes out from under beds or any other minute task that seems to last forever when you are running round the house shrieking like a banshee. But it has all gone to pot.
Seriously, don’t get me started on the number of times we’ve rocked up with just one minute to spare before the dreaded black mark for being late. It’s like my psyche has decided that it’s time for the holidays only several weeks too early.
2. Everything is missing or lost
Buttons on clothes, stationary, reading books…why does everything decide to jump ship with just a few weeks left?! Up until this point I have done a fairly decent job of sending my children off each morning with the right equipment and uniform, all in one piece. Now they look like a bedraggled pair of orphans limping across the playground as they try not to trip over the sole of their shoe which is hanging off as they carry their school bag by it’s last surviving strap. As if you’ve got time to sew it all back together either, you’re too busy being late.
3. Your alcohol budget triples
If I have to hear the words ‘where is my pencil?’ one more time…you get the idea.
4. You suddenly take an interest in your child’s teacher
Nobody wants to be the parent giving the generic bottle of wine on the last day of term do they? (or do they, please, someone tell me!) so you suddenly take an interest in how the teacher dresses, trying to steal glances of the knick-knacks on their desk as you come up with a reason to step inside the classroom at pick-up time, bribing your children to find surreptitious ways to discover the interests their teachers have outside of school time. And what about the teaching assistants? Do they need a present too…yet another reason for point 3!
And of course in the end it will still just be a box of chocolates and a misspelled card handed over by a sullen child.
5. It’s sunny…
We’ve all been there; appreciating and celebrating that the weather has finally turned gloriously sunny. But just wait…these last weeks before the end of term, when the sun is shining and you are feeling all bubbly and optimistic about how wonderful the summer holidays are going to be when you can send your children out to play in the garden all day long, the trips to the park and the beach and all the other excellent free options which the nice weather affords…that isn’t going to be the reality.
I can almost guarantee that as you stand there on the last day of term (having remembered that school is finishing an hour earlier than usual of course…) clutching the overflowing bin bag of pictures and crafts and exercise books your child has just unleashed on you, you will look up at the sky and feel the first, fat splodge of rain land on your face. That’s right folks, summer is already over and done.
Now where did I put that ruler…